You don't give a shit what other people think...I now have a full head of gray hair. I don't plan on dyeing it because I don't give a crap. I'm thankful I have a full head of hair no matter what color. Also, I may or may not have hair growing out of or on my ears. Laugh all you want. I don't care. At this age, if I did care I would spend my entire day in the bathroom attending to personal hygiene and grooming and I don't have time for that. If I want to wear overalls everyday, I will (especially if they are camo). I don't care if the new trend for men is to wear jeans that have sparklies on the back pockets. Just give me my Big Smiths or my Mossy Oaks and be on your way. Oh, and don't count on me spending $100 on sneakers anymore for the latest Jordan's...I get my shoes at Sam's Club ($39.99). If that makes you want to poke fun, go ahead, I don't give a shit...I'm 40 years old.2nd Inning.
You are older than all your favorite sports stars and are old enough to be their dad...You start off life as a kid rooting for those sports stars in baseball or football and telling yourself you want to be like them when you grow up. Then you grow up and realize professional sports was not in your life's playbook. Now I sit down to cheer for guys that are half my age making millions of dollars to play a game. I am now the age they retire from their sport's careers. These young athletes that are entering their first years as pros are still at the age that they could be my kid. Geez...
3rd Inning.
4th Inning.
Hangovers are HELL! When you are younger you can drink all the alcohol your body can take and enter the 'Hangover Zone' and after a few hours or half a day bounce back and do it all over again the next night. There is no way in Hell that can happen now. I have three non-Light beers in one night and I am hitting the Excedrin the next morning. If I was to go crazy one night at this age then you could damn well be sure to find me hugging the toilet talking (okay, more like apologizing) to Jesus and his dad. There might even be pressure for my wife to take me to the emergency room after all the dry heaving strips a rib or three from my sternum. Once the crying stopped then there would be a week-long bed trip to recover. Sucks getting old...5th Inning.
There is still a bunch of items on the bucket list...Okay, so in my first 40 years on this planet I have managed to mark a few things off my bucket list. But there is still so many items left on the list. If these damn terrorists would just crawl in a hole and die then I might be able to safely travel and mark a few more off without having a panic attack at the airport for fear of living out the movie 'Taken' with my daughters. With the stateside items, I would rather just hop in my RV and drive, stopping at every campground along the way like an old retired couple. I don't need no stinking fancy hotel...
6th Inning.
Annual physical exams just got a bit more in-depth...Up till now, my annual physical exam consisted of a few questions, a turn your head and cough, and go to the lab and give a blood sample. Now I get to do all that PLUS have a doctor insert a finger up my butt to check my prostate once a year? Do I get to hold my wife's hand while the doctor does this? Is crying expected? Does the doctor take me on a date first?
7th Inning.
Mankind's achievements in my first 40 years versus my Papa's first 40 years...I am a history nut
and with that trait it had me thinking about my first 40 years and how society has advanced during those years versus my Papa Brewer who was born in 1926 and his first 40 years.
- He lived through Pearl Harbor and I lived through 9/11.
- He lived through the Ford Model T to the Ford Mustang while I have lived through the Chevrolet Chevette to a Google car that drives itself.
- He lived through the introduction of TV and I have lived through the introduction of the Internet.
- He lived through World War II, the Korean War, the Vietnam War, and the Cold War while I have lived through the Cold War, Persian Gulf Wars, and the War on Terrorism.
- He lived through the introduction of drive-in movie theaters and I have lived through the introduction of watching movies on a phone.
- He lived through the introduction of space exploration by our astronauts into Earth's orbit and I have lived through the same (how have we not sent anybody back to the moon or elsewhere?)
- He lived through the discovery of penicillin and I have lived through the discovery of viagra.
- He lived through invention of the laser and I have lived through the laser being mounted on a naval ship as a weapon.
- He lived through the invention of the jet engine and helicopter and I have lived through the invention of personal,flying drones.
All that and still no fricken sharks with fricken laser beams strapped to them...
8th Inning.
I am not immortal...When you are younger, you don't think about your own mortality. You have thoughts of indestructibility. Nothing can harm you and nothing can stop you. Well, those thoughts fade as you start a family and begin to think about events that await you down the road. Along that road you have classmates from high school or college that die and you have relatives that die that aren't some distant one you only saw at the occasional family reunion you might make every 10 years. You see friends become very ill and knock ever so lightly on Heaven's Door. It is then that you start thinking about college tuition for your kids (and how to pay for it), retirement (where will you live and how will you afford it), making out a will (which kid gets my Darth Vader animatronic coin bank?), and ultimately your health and longevity. My life expectancy is around the late 70s. So, barring any major healthcare breakthroughs that could extend my life much farther, I have already lived half my life. Think about that. After you have, then it starts to really set in...
9th Inning.
Partying is Over...Back when I was younger, I didn't mind going out to a club or bar or even some friend's house and slammin' back many, many adult beverages. I didn't mind the bad lighting, the cigarette smoke, the expensive drinks/cheap beer, the occasional dancing (God help me if it was line-dancing), the REALLY loud music, the shoulder-to-shoulder crowds, or a bit of karaoke time. There were times that you just forgot about the clock and ran with it until someone got sick or the drinks ran out or the place closed up. There were times where your coworkers tricked you into a tequila walking coma or the times you earned the nickname "Shooter" while celebrating a birthday a bit too hard. I have friends and relatives that still like to partake in those activities and I applaud them for having the stamina and intestinal fortitude, but like Bocephus, I now prefer corn bread and sweet ice tea to all that other stuff that will make your gut hurt and your head ache. I've reached the age now that I would rather be home in bed every night by 9pm and flipping channels for the evening news. Stick a fork in me, I'm done...
